Should I even be angry at that?
There is no doubt that all things regarding race is prevalent in today's society, especially when you mention the police and young black men. However, it can and should be debated whether everyone is HAVING conversations about race and police brutality. When I say "have", I mean are people truly stopping to listen to what the opposing view is saying? Are people researching their "facts" to have a legitimate conversation about change in their community. And most importantly, are people, both black and white, truly cognizant of the outcome from their input about race. I think not.
As many of you know, a major reason I am going to study abroad is to evaluate and enhance my communication style and techniques. Compared to the U.S., Australians have been know to be more "relaxed" with what they say. They will even call you a cunt as a term of endearment. Honestly, I think the transition into a society like this is going to be more difficult than I think, especially after living in America as a gay black man for the past few years! Essentially, I'm really concerned that I'm too emotionally soft and/or tense. Like any other person, I say and have things said to me that can be taken REALLY REALLY offensively. However, being the jokester that I am, I find myself asking the question: Should I even be angry at that? This question struck me like never before when a neighbor was walking with who I believe was their nephew. Nevertheless, the kid was adorable! He's two and a half years old. Red hair. Rosy cheeks. White. Innocent as it gets. Really. Well, this little fella was wearing a toy badge and pretending to be a cop on this very day. Now, we all have played cops and robbers. Am I right? Granted, some of our variations may differ when you start to evaluate some economic and social differences. For example, where I'm from, there were 99 robbers and one cop. And that cop was real. :) But all in all, it's the same.
Well, this little guy's guardian shouted out to me as I'm serving guest, "He's a cop today, Carlo! you better watch out!"
[Pause]
Luckily, I have a great hospitality face and laughed it off as "______" humor. However, it really really resonated with me for some reason. My immediate reaction wanted me to say, "FUCK! PLEASE DON'T SHOOT! I'M JUST TRYING TO SERVE SOME QUICHE!" Either way, I think any reaction is the wrong reaction. Addressing the situation at the moment could be inappropriate. By not addressing it, I let that person who yelled "watch out", think that was socially okay. Which, in many essence, it is, but then again, it's not. I also allowed myself to boiled with anger from yet another micro-agression. And I think most importantly, I let that now innocent kid think, "If he doesn't watch out, I can shoot the bad (black) guy.
There are a million and one ways I can interpret and misinterpret this scenario. Was it the right or wrong time and place? What was my mood? Who said what? Etc. The person who yelled it is an really amazing and heartfelt person. I truly don't know about this one, and that within itself is scary. Am I over analyzing? Are people just stupid? Or should I just not even be angry at that?